Standing on the edge & my happy ending

Standing on the Edge
2006

Looking over the edge
Out and beyond her small town
The past lies behind her
The future around

The unknown before her
With the road closing in
The edge moving closer
Yet it is where it’s always been

Her journey awaits her
In search of something more
Even though her world has always been enough
And she doesn’t need anymore

She quickly glances back
To see what she leaves
The fear of a world changing without her
But she must do what she believes

The only world she’s ever known
Is now what she leaves behind
She finally moves on
She’s no longer confined

Just a small town girl
Who knows where her home will always be
She’s on the edge of a bigger world
A world bigger than me

She is about to rock this world
And show them what a small town girl can do
She won’t go through life unnoticed
She won’t live just to make it through

This girl, she may wander
But she’ll never lose her way
She’s got God on her side
So come what may

Too hard to handle
But too free to hold
This girl was a wild one
Who could never learn from being told

They couldn’t tie her down
As much as they would try
They knew she’d always get away
This girl was born fly

From this leap on
Life will never be the same
She can never turn back
But she can return the same way she came

She’s now out on her own
And making her mark
Finding a new challenge
 Which she must embark

You’d think she had it all
And all going for her
But she didn’t want what they wanted
And singing to her own tune was her prefer

She knows that she must venture out
And this she will do
She may be gone for now
But she still has her life here too

She doesn’t settle for less
And she’s not afraid to raise the bar
But her world here was always enough
From here, she could always see the stars

As the edge moves closer,
She doesn’t know if she will fall or fly
She has run towards it all her life
So flying she must try
She doesn’t know what she wants
But she knows what she needs
And all she prays for is happiness
And prays that this journey to it will lead

So she closes her eyes
And she prays a silent prayer
Unsure if she will fall or fly
As she takes the dare

*****

My Happy Ending
2006

Where’s my picture perfect life
Where all things end as they should
So, where’s my happy ending
The one that I’d have if I could

The things that once defined me,
And all the things that I knew
They now are like strangers to me
And as I walk towards it, I walk right through

Everything that was close
Now seems so far away
I am slowly letting go
And I am slowly losing my way

You tell me that I’ve changed
That I’m different now
But I can’t change back
I don’t know how

I am somewhere between a girl and a woman
And I have made mistakes
But I am who I am
And mistakes we all make

I know I’m not perfect
And I don’t try to be
But I know I’ll find my way
For now, please forgive me

I’m the same as I used to be
But people change as life goes on
Know that I still love you
Even as I grow
It feels like everyone tries to be better than me
And it’s starting to wear me down
I am losing my strength
And about to drown

I have people in my life who care
But at the end of the day
You’re by yourself again
Except for God, I pray

I know you want what’s best for me
And I am glad that you do
But sometimes I need to make mistakes
Before you find what is honest and true

Right now I am living for the next thing
And I know I can’t go on like this
But right now, it’s what I know
It’s what is real and what exists

People tell me that I have it all
And at one time, I did
It’s not until you lose it all
That you see all you had was so good

I took a chance, and I took that leap
I took my chance with fate
But you weren’t there to catch me
And now you’re too late

You want to be friends
Because you like someone else
But that someone else has taken so much from me
Don’t let her take you too, even though you were never mine

So, I’ll pretend to be a friend
But know that when I look at you
I wish we could be more
And I wish you felt this too
Don’t hate me for liking you
I know you understand
Because you can’t help who you like
Liking you was something I never planned

One day you’ll understand, when we all look back
You’ll see it brought us to where we’ll be
It is the challenges that make us stronger
The blindness which makes us able to see

So, if you ask, I’ll say I’m doing fine
But know that I am really not
Nobody told me life would be this hard
I suppose they just forgot

So, tomorrow I’ll wake up
And a smile I’ll wear
I’ll step into my perfect place
And under my breath, I’ll pray a prayer

At the end of a movie
At the end of a book
You always find a happy ending
Perhaps we just need to take a closer look

So, I know I’ll find my happy ending
Because tomorrow is the best day of my life
My story is still unwritten
And I am just thankful to be alive

Breanna Myles can be contacted at breanna.myles@mail.mcgill.ca.