Listen to Saidye’s eco-rant

 Hello children of the planet Cassandra. It is so wonderful to be on a visit here in the earth year 2057 to teach you Cassandranicks about life on the planet earth among the Earthnics in the year 2007. As you know I am Saidye the 150 year old lady. But I don’t looking a day over 90, it’s true? It’s true. That’s because on earth in 2007 they invented laser bums to kill each other, but instead they found out the same laser bums gives you the best body ticks and face lifts in the whole of the universe.

Back in 2007, in Canada when I went shopping, and I special like to shop when we was getting ready to go to the country to our shallot. O.K. it wasn’t really a shallot, it was a cottage (Emphasis on second syllable). all right it was just a cabin. O.K., all right, it really was just a little shack on a lac, but it was our place to go in the summer and I loved to go there mit the whole family.

We was going for the whole vacation… some years even three whole weeks. My husband and the kids they like to fish, and to go in the woods. I just love to go in the water and shvim, my favourite shvim stroke, the mechiah stroke. A mechiah, oi what a pleasure.

So one year we are going to our little shack on the lac, and they was putting up a sign there and it’s saying don’t eat the fish! Nu, I have to tell you, I’m not so crazy about fish. After all who has to clean the fish, and bake the fish, and pan fry the fish, and then clean up after everyone eats the fish? O.K. so we not eating the fish.

The next year we are going up to our shack on the lac and they puts a new sign what says: Don’t go fishing on this lac. It was anyways beginning to be a funny colour from purple, so the husband and the kids didn’t go so much fishing. Do I look like a fisherperson? I still went a little bit in the water… special when it was really hot, and in those days it was very hot. Global Warning they called it, but no one paid attention.

Then one year we are going up to the shack on the lac, and it was a new sign there it says: Don’t go in the lac at all. I am telling you the colour from orange it didn’t looks so good and I didn’t want to go near this kind water with all the dead fish and the smell. They was saying that the funny colour from orange it was caused by the Chassidic rain! Can you imaging those Chassidim, they really gets around. They tells us that the Chassidic rain is also causing the big holes in the oozing liars and I don’t mean the politicians here. And that’s also why they having such bad ultra violent rays. You can’t go out from the house without lots of sun scream on your skin.

This holes in the oozing liars was also causing horrible things in the weather. Yes! Sure! It was causing EL Nino, El Noo noo and the worst, LA NUDNIKA. They was the cause of giant ice sturms in Canada! Then they was the reason for the big fires in Florida. So now we had nowhere to go in the winter to get away from the ice sturms.

The silly thing was even with the sun screams I always turned pink in the summer, and in the winter I was a real ugly shame from blue grey. Oh yeah, we had all kinds different colour peoples in 2000. Surprised? Yeah it was strange to, the white people went into the sun so they could be more like the brown peoples. Some brown and black people really wanted to be bleached into whiter people or they had special operations So they was red people, and yellow people, and coffee coloured people, and pink, I already was telling you and blue and white. The really strange thing is all these people from different colours was not liking each other. Sometimes they couldn’t standing each other, as a matter from fact they was hating each other! So why they was trying always to look like each other?

People wasn’t so smart like in 2007, not like you. Look, look at you! Such beautiful colours from green! Look over there… we gots a chartreuse to die for, and that mint green, I like also that forest green over in the back. You, yes, you are beautiful. Terrific childrens. You are all gorgeous!!!!

Best from all is how you all loves each other on the planet Cassandra. So, what’s not to love?