DEFECTIVE

Set the fire
And fire the bunch
Today a detective came for lunch
Didn't say much, thing or two
These are the things I put up with

I was expecting something new
A view about crime
Executives on a slip'ry climb
I'd have a joke prepared
A little launderette around the corner
Dirty money clean in just under an hour
We'd see shirts whistle perfect
And trousers sent round the world
Hong Kong collars returning as NASDAQ cuffs
A simple bra, cups renewed
Hosiery, linen and sweaters too
With any spots removed
That little launderette around the corner
A player in the new economic order
But it hardly raises his lips into a smile,
The things I put up with

Then he comes and sits right down again
Peering out the window
Shifts in his chair
Not really certain what lies out there
Doesn't put me in the know
How many criminals are really on the go
How it works with Interpol
No, always the easy stuff
Kids with dime bags and
Never about banks and their
Ads on TV that lie directly
As if they've been worried about us since
The time of Columbus
Growing like fat balloons
About to burst
With all the cash they give us
Ruminating,
The detective chisels his toothpick,
Questions asked in vain
Continuous pinpricks, jabbing pain

Cashiers and tellers of goodwill
The litany of money crying ‘Santa'
The system flashes green
Give it a twirl
What's wealth, sight unseen?

Strange, isn't it?
When a detective drops in for a bit
Never refuses a spot of lunch

Tariffs and trade loops
Floating belly up in my soup
A family, waiting for a cure
Retirement funds not so pure
Everyone's RRSP happy but don't rock the boat
Round and round we go in a moat
Look! – down at my plate,
Under the saucer, descriptive Chaucer

Kindergarten children play
Under a drawbridge, where a troll lives
Crossing, you peer down
We all had a chance of touching
The magic frog that turned into a prince
But now there's no place to land,
Plant another myth inside
Porcelain fortification walls

A new sensation, dropping your elevation
Take me to your national debt
And we'll soon forget
If it was Reagan or the guy who
Barfed in Japan
My ‘lunchback' of Notre Dame
Drops in like an old flame
And then his tap opens a bit,
Dribbles forth statistics
About radiation and
Poor little carrots as deadly as Tarots
And our only line of defence
A democracy with politicians of no consequence
Tomorrow at noon I'll change his tune
Switch the dial to another station
Get the full report from the nation
The earnest CBC
Airing rough talk of gang shootings,
Victims perceived as weaklings
But never the corporate boys and sacrifices,
Glossing over planetary well-beingness
Oh what the hell leave it as post-its
For another generation
The detective's eyes shine
About the prime time
Lieutenant, eats too much pizza
The patrolman, coming out of the closet
In time to take a bullet for his buddy,
Who beats his wife when she goes to her mother's

Listen! The report – schoolyard bullies
But rarely, white collar trash sullies
Blue chip boardrooms,
Filters up from street gangs
Never down from serial consultants
Corruption, low hanging fruit
The seduction of CEO's
Who love choosing
A tie for a new suit

I have a hunch the detective
Will bristle if I suggest
Celery without permission,
The crunch
Of private health care,
Top dollar execs
Keeping score of what's available to the poor
Docs won't renew a prescription
Without you forking out some more
Whacking big profits
They're killing us, you and me

Corrosive batteries boosting neo-con celebrities
No accountability
Some say bring back the duel
Ask a kid the meaning of gruel
Or something similar
A brain, remotely familiar

The detective is the medium
This tedium, the age of mediocrity