Montréal Serai

Bringing the margins to the centre…

My boudoir was bare

Jody Freeman

 

Truth be told, I’ve been neglecting my boudoir. J’ai négligé mon boudoir. Some of you might think that négligé and boudoir go hand-in-hand (or tongue-in-cheek, even), but I want to warn you that it’s risky, if not risqué, to let your boudoir languish in neglect.  Mine felt so délaissé that it slipped out the back door while I was endlessly and ponderously weighing words… and took a dip in the cool dark waters of my back alley.

 

Forest boudoir in my back alley – street art by Katie Webb and Ryan Kirby (Villeneuve west of Hutchison)

Forest boudoir in my back alley – street art by Katie Webb and Ryan Kirby
(Villeneuve west of Hutchison)

 

Refreshed and energized, my sleek new boudoir headed up Park Avenue (just north of Boulevard St-Joseph) for a little action. I know, because my secret source at the Québec Provincial Police leaked the photos from a hidden camera.

 

3’s company

3’s company

 

4's a crowd

4’s a crowd

All that pink was a little too much, and after heading east on St-Joseph, my boudoir took refuge on Jeanne Mance, only to be tantalized by a lippy message smack in the middle of the sidewalk:

 

Let's kiss tonight

Let’s kiss tonight

 

Pursing its lips, my boudoir strolled down to Boulevard Mont-Royal, minding its own business, when the furry scent of danger came wafting across from Parc Jeanne-Mance. Who knew there’d be so many alley cats on the prowl?

 

‘Feline good’ – street art by Monk.E

‘Feline good’ – street art by Monk.E

 

Fur and feathers flying, my boudoir turned tail and headed east on Boulevard Mont-Royal.  But before it reached St-Denis, even stranger wild beasts began beckoning from the alley.

 

Back to back in the Beastie boudoir

Back to back in the Beastie boudoir

 

After hanging out with the beasties on the horizontal tree, my budding boudoir was drawn southward and ended up on Marie-Anne wondering where to go next. The wise words of the elders came out of nowhere. “Stay calm. Be brave. Wait for the signs.”[1]

 

The elephant in the boudoir

The elephant in the boudoir

 

Well, Gracie Heavyhand was in on it now, and my emboldened boudoir blazed a trail west toward Boulevard St-Laurent, into more fertile (seedier?) territory.

 

Clio, mon amour

Clio, mon amour and street art by Kat

 

All night peep show

All night peep show

 

All night peep show – Take 2

All night peep show – Take 2

 

Gracie was regaling my boudoir with true confessions from the Dead Dog Café, but when she started on about her escapades with food, my undernourished boudoir got a terrible hankering to go home.

 

no-bananas-in-the-boudoir

What? No bananas in the boudoir?

 

 

Bow down in the boudoir

Bow down in the boudoir

 

I’m all for bananas, not so much for bowing and scraping. But if you’ve gotta bow down to someone, let it be Gracie Heavyhand or Beyonce, I say.

 

Now that my boudoir’s back, I’ll never take it for granted again. This winter, we’re going be cookin’ with Gracie in a strange-looking tent near the Quartier des spectacles. Gracie’s gonna be humming “Midnight at the Oasis” while she fries up something nice and greasy. My boudoir’s going to get full and plump. Just the way it should be.

 

Midnight at the oasis

Midnight at the oasis

 

Oh yeah, one last thing. Maybe you’d like to see the “before” photo… what my neglected boudoir scene looked like before I wised up. Boudoir blues.

 

Critical critics in the boudoir – street art by Kashink and Graffiti Knight

Critical critics in the boudoir – street art by Kashink and Graffiti Knight

 

 

All photos by Jody Freeman’s secret boudoir informant

 

 

[1] Dead Dog Café Comedy Hour, written by Tom King.
http://www.cbc.ca/radio/rewind/dead-dog-cafe-comedy-hour-1.2801276

 

 


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