I can see it now: hordes of hashish-hopped humanity-hating jihadis storming Lufthansa, Aeroflot and Air France jets, landing in Peoria, Pittsburgh, Portland and Palo Alto, armed with insidious suicide vests, blowing up innocent obese Americans busy buying Chinese goods at Wal-Mart. Millions of mad-eyed Muslim fundamentalists docking in San Diego, St. Petersburg and Savanna aboard the Queen Mary II, Holland-America cruise ships and the impressive blue water navies of the Arab world, racing down the gangplanks, salivating in righteous eagerness to slaughter and sodomize good evangelical Christians in their places of worship, fiercely crying "Allah u Akbar!" Endless truckloads of hawk-nosed turbanned Talebanis crossing the notoriously porous northern border (Blame Canada!), terrorizing Trenton, Tacoma and Toledo, indiscriminately planting IEDs in shopping carts and kindergartens and Taco Bells (yo quiero Allah). A crush of claymore and kalashnikov-equipped koranic cadres penetrating California and Texas from the soft Mexican underbelly, floating in on a fleet of inner tubes from their secret staging post in communist Cuba after the successful breakout from Guantanamo, bearing flags with the likenesses of bearded Osama bin Laden and Fidel. Quiver at the sight of those cruel and crazy Moroccan and Qatari al-Qaeda kamikaze operatives parachuting from the Fourth Fundamentalist Air Battalion onto the sacred soil of Brooklyn, Boise, Birmingham and Burlington, joyously bayonetting our beautiful cherub-cheeked babies and pregnant blue-eyed blondes debating the preliminary questions of "Who Wants to be a Millionaire." An interminable number of irate Islamist Iraqis pouring like Allah's army ants from titanic tunnels dug all the way from Basra, Baghdad and Baqubah.Yeah, I can see it now...