A TOUCH OF LEVITY
Maya Khankhoje

Levity. [L. levitas, f. levis, light.] A property possessed in varying degrees by all substances and which makes them tend to rise, as substances possessing gravity tend to sink.]

Isaac sat under an apple tree, as was his custom whenever he could get away from his nagging mother, his pompous father, his execrable siblings, his simpering wife, the duties of his station and the innumerable things that made sitting under an apple tree a much more attractive proposition. And of course, the apples themselves were the very reason for this apparently unproductive pastime. Not only could he satiate his appetite for this sinful fruit, but he could also entertain and enrich his mind.

He shut his eyes and tried to recreate the epiphany that had been revealed to him under another apple tree. An apple drops to the ground because it is attracted by the centre of the earth. Let us call this ponderous force gravity. Voila, a perfectly simple and elegant statement that would, pardon the expression, revolutionize the world, the gyrations of which, as any dolt should know, are partly responsible for this state of affairs.

What if, said Isaac, what if the process were to be reversed? What would happen if instead of being attracted by the core of the earth, we were to be repelled by it? What would you call a force that is not a force but just the opposite? That embodies the qualities of a feather blown by the wind. That soars to the ceiling of cathedrals like the voices of castrati. That dissipates like the morning mist burnt by the midday sun. That vanishes like a passing fancy.

Why not call this force levity? Yes, levity. What would happen if instead of clinging to the ground, we were to be raised aloft? All that ponderous thinking and all those heavy apples made Isaac fall into a deep sleep.

And while Isaac slept, his nagging mother was raised aloft until all you could see were her knickers, not as clean as one would have wished of such a respectable matron. His pompous father was pulled by the three hairs on his forehead until they snapped and the honourable gentleman has not been heard of ever since. His execrable siblings were dispersed in all four directions, while his simpering wife had her smile inverted so that she now wears a perpetually mournful look. As for Isaac’s duties, and the trappings of his station, they are still floating in space, together with an assortment of apples. And if you look carefully, you can still see them, but for that, you need a clear night, a good telescope and a touch of levity.

THE END

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